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There’s not many of those around unfortunately. Then you came along. As I got to know you I began ticking the boxes, and the more I knew you the more boxes got ticked. I liked you from the start, then liking turned into something else, an emotion I had never felt before. Jack! I am a very short journey away from falling in Love with you, and I am close to doing what Mum said I shouldn’t do, throwing myself at a man. Please Jack, if I did that would you catch me?’ I crossed the room and sat beside Ally, taking her hand in mine. ‘Ally, you are a beautiful woman, but more importantly you are beautiful inside. Any man would be happy to know you and love you. But, you know so little about me. I was divorced because I cheated on my wife. I have a daughter I haven’t seen in years. I have had long term relationships that come to nothing. So you can see I am not a good bet. Somehow relationships don’t work for me. Don’t think about throwing yourself at me unless you have a safety net.’ Ally’s. One that's mortified me, even as I've indulged in it. In my deepest, darkest personal thoughts--my most private world.I say my entire life, because I of course don't remember the first couple years--the time in my life when I was an only child.In the family album is a snapshot of me, nowhere near three, staring into the camera while standing beside Abigail's crib. There's a first shot--way out of focus --where I'm bent down and I guess patting my little sister on the head. I've seen it; it didn't make the album. It's stuck away somewhere. In the official snapshot, I'm grinning up at the camera in a way that's always been called angelic. As an adult, I look at it and think demonic.My life was changed by the appearance of this pretty thing called Abigail.I remember my kindergarten because there was this little girl. Just looking at her gave me strange queasy feelings that I totally didn't understand. I never dared talk to her, even though I wanted us to marry. At age five. She had long.
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